I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Randomize
