i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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