Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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