The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
