I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
