Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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