Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
