someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize