two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Congratulations! We have a period
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