we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
