So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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