I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You're a waste of cheezeits
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
