Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
