Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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