It's Friday. Sex?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
