Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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