Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize