At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
