if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize