I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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