I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
