Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Moan for me like Helen Keller
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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