too bad you live with your parents still
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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