don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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