he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
