At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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