so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
