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im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
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