SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize