did you get engaged???
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Then you guys just all showered together...?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
