lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Randomize
