The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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