dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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