Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
ugly people sure do ruin things
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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