I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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