Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
