Walk of Shame. In a state park.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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