Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
