apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
