i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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