my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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