What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
