you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
