Duck Duck Cougar?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
