my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
When did angry sex become our thing?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
