Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
