Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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