Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
