He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
