Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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