STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
