My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
