Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Michael Bay diarrhea
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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