she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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