my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
