So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
