Duck Duck Cougar?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
honey bunches of taint.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize