Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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