And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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