this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize